-bong joon-ho, in his golden globe acceptance speech
for a long time, the only tamil song i'd heard was uyire (hindi's tu hi re), and i was teetering over the edge, though i didn't know it at the time. right around the time my exams started, somehow, i tipped over the edge. i don't know how this came to be, or what the catalyst was, but i really am glad this happened. i'd dabbled a bit recently, like chinnanjiru (absolutely beautiful), or ethu mazhayilum. i've had a general appreciation for tamil because of trish for a while now, and there was always this sense of missing out with respect to a r rahman songs that weren't made for hindi, as if i was not as close to the meaning i could be, and maybe going to the source would be more of a purist approach to the art, which i do attempt to do as far as possible.
i feel as if sam's always been around the corner to welcome me in, and the fact remains that as toxic as mass fandom just gets invariably, it helps an indefinite amount to really get settled in (i'm not entirely sure if my rambles always turn into an acknowledgement speech, but we owe so much to the people that care about us, it's not even funny), but now that i've gotten so far into it, i might as well mention: i will finally understand how to pronounce zh, anna will get me there.
i stumbled into ilaiyaraaja a while ago when i wasn't ready for him, and i think i am now. the sheer volume of people who call him (one of) india's best composer(s) is near-unmentionable, and i need to know now. while i'm getting deeper into my general obsession of language, maybe now is the time. coke studio pakistan has simply exaggerated the similar appreciation trish brought to me, especially this season with xulfi. he's been amazing, bringing in artists and languages and feelings from all over the country, things most people maybe even in pakistan would barely have heard of (my source is always the comment section, which overflows with love in a way most people have forgotten how to), and the amalgamation of sounds and feelings and the sheer beauty of art can almost be overwhelming. the first time i heard mehmaan, or piya piya calling, or harkalay—i could keep going, is an experience i cannot possibly put into words. the discussions around art and adaptations always revolve, more so about films from stories, however, this is not something i believe words can ever fully capture.
what transpired like a dream that was not life.
vazhkaiya nenachi vazhndhadhillai
what i thought was life, wasn’t living at all.
manju mootttama manasukulla pogura varugira ninaivugale
like a fog lifting in my mind, memories pass me by.
orangudhu ulla oru visaiyum orakkam kalanja nesam theriyum
there is something asleep inside of me. the truth will unfold at the end of my slumbers
-ilaiyaraaja, kaatumalli, go listen :)