what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or have ever had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else.
 -user pollen, tumblr

what's the thing you're most proud of doing in 2024? there has been a recent movement in the recommendations i have been receiving across my media consumption sites. (not the professional ones, just public sites). even though i've been off most social media for a while now, towards the end, i'd been receiving more and more stuff that just said: leave, take a break, breathe. the very nature of hyperpersonalisation states that i could be watching things that none of you have ever reached through endless scrolls. when any of those creators ask: what is your hobby? and before you can "answer" them, they quickly add a caveat. media consumption is not a hobby! and maybe it's not. but why?

what did you do this year? my friends asked me as it ended, and i paused for a second. what had i done? then i remembered, i've started writing a blog (semi-regularly), i've tried to start learning the ukulele, and as i string this thought process along, i've started realising: it's just action, isn't it? you have to choose to do it.

what question does the trolley problem pose at its core? would you choose to take one death on your conscience, or let five deaths simply happen, as deaths do? are you strong enough to make that choice within a split second? now, consider the inverse: are you willing to take action, choose to do something that's going to improve you as a person that's not simply passive intake of media, bearing the cost of effort? and if the choice sounds obvious, why is it so hard?

what do i want to say? i'm not always sure. maybe i just want to tell all of you: there's nothing like the feeling of having done something well, so please do it as much as you can. maybe i just want to tell all of you: i will be very proud of you if you try. maybe i just want to tell you: i care about you. i would be very happy if you were happy with yourself. you got this. i'm here for you.